For some people certain periods of the year cause them to experience depression, sadness, a loss of appetite, and more. For others, these symptoms are a daily occurrence that can create fall out in many areas of their life. Today’s Wellness Wednesday video shares a few insights on precautions to take to prevent a financial fall out for yourself or someone you love who suffers from SAD or other forms of depression.
There are certain times of the month, week, and even the day that your mind could benefit from a break, a vacation if you will. In this vlog, I share three ideas for mind vacations you could take today. Give them a try and let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. If you find value from the ideas, feel free to share them with others. I would love for you to head on over to SarahLCook.com for more of my writing and videos as well. Enjoy your vacation!
So many times in life we are so busy taking care of the needs of others and tuning out our own needs, that we may have even forgotten how to discern our own needs. In this vlog, I share some tips for taking care of yourself as well as ask you five questions that will help you know if you are taking care of some of your basic needs in life.
1. When was the last time you ate?
2. When was the last time you drank water?
3. When was the last time you worked out or went for a walk?
4. When was the last time you got 8+ hours of sleep?
5. When was the last time you pampered the face you see in the mirror?
You can find more #WellnessWednsday tips on SarahLCook.com
Martina says: Self talk is that little voice we carry around inside our heads. Most of it is perfectly reasonable: “Sit here by the window, not over there in that dark corner.” “Smile.” “Hit the books.” “Write your post.” “Wear the other green shoes, its a long day ahead.” For much of my youth, my self-talk had mostly negative messages for me. “You can’t do that… be that… go there…get that done.” The echoes of so many negative voices suffering from their own disappointments became part of my personal script. Soon, “No, I can’t do that,” became “Why should I bother trying?” But, finding some of my own gifts in my own ability to learn quickly and learn well, via my 4th grade teacher and my mother, I began to learn to tame the beast. Taming meant that I could control the self talk more than I allowed it to control my actions and expectations. As supporting evidence mounted actually from accomplishing things, I could see that my internal message was a lie. I could do a lot of things. I could be something no one else around me wanted to be. I could take languages. I could go to college.
Recently, I was in the hospital recovering from a major surgery. I landed in the ICU for a night. Things were better the next morning, and I was released. In the haze of pain, drugs and semi-consciousness, all I could hear was, “I can’t…” Wheeling a bed in to take me to my “normal” room, I said, “I can walk.” “Nobody walks back from ICU, Doc,” came the retort. With help, I grabbed my walker (with wheelchair close behind), and I made may way down the hall, waited for the elevator, and went to my room to sleep. I had to consciously choose to change what I was telling myself. What got me upstairs? A new script. “I can make it to my room.” “One step at a time.” “One foot in front the other.” “One breath at a time. Rest when you need to. It’s not a competition.” “One foot…” Dealing with self talk, I think, often comes down to 2 questions: Is it true? Is it helpful? If the answers are no, then its time to change your script.
Edith says: Multi-talents self-talk can lead us in circles at times with the pace and multitude of ideas that race around in our minds. All these ideas are part of who we are. We need to respect and capture them. Why – otherwise there is a strong probability that our self-talk will be a deluge of what ifs and why nots. Learning and applying ways to respect and capture the greatness of our thoughts allows us to grow, develop, create, enjoy, and become. We are acknowledging are talents in action and developing a process to confidently express ourselves. Capture by notes, and giving space between thoughts by breathing. Respect by monitoring and filtering out the doubting Thomas ones. Read more from Edith…
Gail says: Self-talk often does present a tough cookie to crumble when it babbles in a negative voice. What I have learned to do (and it took years of practice), is to honor it as an old, tired voice. One that never served me well, but did occupy space and time in my life. And still occasionally rises up to greet me. Just the other day several women friends and I met for lunch in one of the woman’s home. I did not know her well and had never been in her home. It was well-organized, clean. The orderliness of her kitchen cupboards, pantry, pots and pans, spice rack amazed me! I heard that tired old voice saunter through my mind. “Wow. Wish I could be this organized. Never have been, never will be. She’s so smart. I’m such a slacker!” How did I honor that old voice speaking that ridiculousness? I silently laughed at its behavior, the way one might chuckle within watching a young child’s antics. For me, that action immediately renders that negative self-talk smaller, weaker than my true voice. The laughter always makes it run for the hills. Silent. Gone. For the rest of the luncheon. For the rest of the day.
Miss Bobbie says: How do you feel when someone calls you a failure or they tell you what you did was wrong? We usually don’t like the feeling after these words. How do you feel when someone says you did a great job or that they are proud of you? Sometimes we puff up like a peacock and are uplifted by the positive words. Now do you want to be the person who gives the negative words or the positive words? Think about that for a minute, most of us want to be the ones who give positive words to inspire and encourage others.
If we all want to be encouragers to others then why would we not choose to give positive words to the most important person we know, ourselves! You should realize that just someone else speaks to us in a positive or negative manner, we have a reaction to those words; it is even more intense when we are the ones speaking positivity or negativity into our own lives. Read more
Sarah says: Talking to your self in affirming and positive ways doesn’t come easily for most people, and for some people it is a constant battle to choose to speak and think kindly about themselves and others. The self-talk transformation for me started when a good friend and mentor, began to interrupt my negative comments with, “That’s so unlike you to say that about yourself”. It shocked me at first and made me uncomfortable and even a bit mad that she would have the audacity to challenge what I “knew to be true” about myself. I am grateful that my negative response to her comments didn’t deter her from continuing to confront my personal verbal abuse. Over time, I would interrupt my own conversations, by saying, “That’s so unlike me to say that”, and would the replace it with something I wanted to be true. By continuing this pattern of behavior modification, I transformed my money, my weight/body, my career, and my relationships and you can too!
Each week The Women of Dare Whimsy gather for Between Us Girls, a LIVE Google Hangout to discuss life as creative and gifted girls living the adventure of their gifts. Won’t you join us? Thursdays we highlight the best of the topic discussed and each woman shares more on that topic in their own blogs so if you find someone who resonates with you, follow their gravatar home for more great time with them and share your own blog in the comments so we can visit you too! ~ Sweetie!
Sweetie Says: Valentine’s Week can be a welcome fun week or an instigator of emotional turmoil. Been there? You’re the artistic one and everyone wants you to “help them out” with a banner? You’re the calligrapher, so of course you’d love to do an extra 10,000 cards. Boundaries matter on holidays for me. I am a giver, and that means that if I’m not acutely aware of the time costs, saying “yes” can really be unpleasant at Valentine’s week. One of my favorite things to do is to invite others to come play at a table with me a week or two out…nothing fancy, just a paper covered table with sparkly things, pens, paper, and glue and a few magazines to build a Valentine’s with them. I love to create and doing so with friends adds to the fun! Valentine’s to me is gathering folks I love and sharing time with them. My love language is presence, so I’m happiest when I can give my own time to others as well as receive theirs! It takes the pressure off the production and focuses on the time together!
Sarah says: Giving gifts doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, but to be received well the giver would wisely consider the Love Language spoken by the recipient. This picture represents 4 of the 5 Love Languages. The, “You Are Loved” coupon book can be redeemed for multiple Acts of Service which show love very clearly to a person who speaks that language. The “M&Ms Scavenger Hunt” represents the language of Quality Time and will be a fun way to lovingly engage for the giver and receiver. The “Open When…” stack of love letters will bring days of love spoken to one who hears love best in Words of Affirmation. The, “I Love You” custom tile quote is a gift that keeps giving as the receiver can read over and over how they are loved and were shown love through the language of Receiving Gifts. Each of these gifts cost less than $6, but they meant a great deal to those who received them and most importantly they felt loved, affirmed and appreciated. Read more from Sarah
Edith says – With our intensities, overexcitabilities, and sensitivities we can be a mess when it comes to love. Multi-talents with our various passions are very much in love with life. However, with the experiences of rejection, ridicule, disrespect, being discounted, getting upset (putting it mildly) over very little things, having tantrums because we are not understood or do not understand, leaves any form of love in interpersonal relationships as uncertainty and high risk. Yet our naïve desire to trust the good in all swings the pendulum the other direction. Recognize our love of nature and beauty is safe and leads us in the practice of love. Those quiet moments we relish with ourselves, with family, friends, a significant other, a teacher, a guide, are practices of love. The simple exchange of a smile is a practice of love. This month, February, is a reminder to practice love. Read more from Edith
Martina says: We affirm those we care about by showing up. We affirm those who are additionally gifted, particularly those struggling, by showing up and doing what we do best. We demonstrate that what we do is a gift granted to us, and that we do whatever we doing because we love it; not because we must. And that we are free to choose which gifts to share and when. We affirm and confirm for them that the world is filled with choices, and we do not have to take one of everything, not do everything, simply because we are capable. We recognize who we are, what we have to give to the world, and we are free to be ourselves. And, that they are free as well. The work we do, we do out of love, and that mindset, that way of being must begin with loving yourself. Read more from Martina here.
Gail says: We appreciate and affirm by recognizing the importance of self appreciation and affirmation. That’s when it is fully shared from the heart and has more potential to be received by the heart. Life loves love. And to grow into and within life and love requires solitary practice, day to day, a little bit at a time.
Lucy says: One of the very best affirmations is speaking well to our souls. We women (aka gifted girls) often speak trash, not so much to others but to ourselves. You know the internal drill: “You’re not enough” or “You’re ugly” and even “You’re a waste of space so why bother?” The good news: These are lies and beautiful you can replace them with God’s amazing truth. Here’s how to speak well to your soul. Read more from Lucy here.
Sweetie says: Welcome to Between Us Girls, a weekly conversation following a LIVE hangout among The Women of Dare Whimsy, a community for creative and gifted girls of all ages. Each week we bring together our personal and professional experiences as a gifted girl, moms and grandmothers of gifted girls as we explore how to build a life we love to live. We hope you’ll join us each week here on Thursdays as we share our personal experiences with Between Us Girls topics from our chat. This week’s topic is how to handle when others focus on your giftedness and not the actual efforts you put into your art or outcomes.How to give affirmation that is honoring to the person’s head and heart, not simply saying a comment that implies “it’s easy” because you’re smart! If you resonate with one of our writers, feel free to “follow her home” to her website, blog, or performances! Isn’t it good to find folks like you! ~Sweetie!
Edith says: Receiving compliments as a gifted girl/woman can be difficult. We hear many mixed messages about being gifted and doing things well. It is important for us to give and receive compliments that encourage our progress and process. Focusing on the end product involves many of the mixed messages. Our talents that come easily still require hard work and development for expression. All effort and evolvement benefit by being acknowledged (giving and receiving). What we do is valuable and good enough. It is the imperfection with authentic expression that makes it grand. Complement (giving and receiving) each step and the journey will be one that upholds you as a multi-talent. Read more from Edith
Lucy Ann Moll says: Affirming a gifted mind means loving the Creator of that mind. God wants you to move toward him, not seclude yourself or think you are “less than.” He affirms you in the best way possible. At Calvary, Jesus was your substitute for all of your screw-ups — past, present and future. Don’t believe Satan’s lie that your mistakes are unforgivable. I’ve made my share of mistakes, as you’ll see when you click “Read More Here” below. Your mistakes do not define you. My mistakes don’t define me. For Christians, your identity as a child of God does. Believe it. Believe God. Read More Here
Sarah says: Affirming others begins with liking and loving oneself, as it is hard to authentically give what you do not have. I started my journey of receiving praise and giving compliments by looking directly at myself in the mirror each morning and telling the person in the mirror three things. Sometimes I shared three things I liked about her. Other times it was three things she was doing well or three things I admired and sometimes it was a combination of such. It was painful at first, for I had heard so many discouraging words in my youth and I would sometimes not believe what I was saying, but overtime I changed. I began to accept what was being said by myself to myself, as well as by others to me. I also found that my morning “pep talks” helped me to raise my awareness for others and affirming words I could share with them that would lift, encourage, and appreciate them for showing up and shining in the world. Read more from Sarah
Gail says: Yes, it did take a while. But somewhere along the timeline I learned to accept a compliment with no more than to return a simple “thank you.” It occurred to me that we honor the giver of the compliment when we acknowledge what they see, think, feel about our talents and their expression there of, is a true perception for them. To deny or negate the compliment under the guise of humility or embarrassment or some other fear, is really telling that person, “you are a liar.” When I give a compliment, it is what I see from my point of view. Be it a true or false perception…it’s still mine. Eventually I realized that I’d wish the same, that the other person acknowledge my compliment as my perception, honor it, allowing me to receive the confirmation. Giving/receiving confirmation. Our gifted hearts and minds are honored in both.
A year or so ago the fabulous Sarah L Cook and I began teasing each other that we’d have to “Share the S” for our names. Monograms were in and as we shopping we woke up to the fact that we needed TWO of the S’s, no small feat when shopping bargains, but each of us have S as our first initial. We laughed well that day that we’d have to learn to “share the s” in our friendship, it turns out that a year later we have found that indeed sharing the S within our friendship, business, clients, and family time has become a part of our weekly conversations. What is the S you say? For us sharing the S means many words that all begin with S, but the most important thing it means is sharing a sisterhood that neither of us have ever had and one we’d prefer to share with every small business woman (or man) who desires to grow personally and professionally. We’re talking about a wealth of living not simply living wealthy. Come along with us for the next few weeks as we go into the Christmas season, our gift to you this year is inviting you to Share the S with us!
The first S is for Sharing. One of the most powerful abilities every single person has within them, the ability to share with others. Community, kindness, good stewardship, mutual reflection…the power of sharing is truly amazing. We become better people when we choose to share our experiences and knowledge with others. Often the very act of sharing releases you to understand, to seek, to create at a whole new level. Sharing our struggles matters to, for in acknowledging our weaknesses or struggles we open ourselves up to the possibilities of God’s provision for our solutions. We release the fear, the embarrassment or isolation we may have been experiencing and open our hearts to vulnerability that allows for receiving help or support. Sharing is an important S, for in its power is the ability for human hearts to connect, provide, support, teach, and share wisdom and love.
A few ideas for how to implement sharing…
- Skype with a friend on a scheduled check in…let others in on your goals, life, and struggles
- Use the applications….iphones, email, texting, time is precious, but find time for sharing with those you care about
- Keep it simple…sharing time together is the gift, the go-withs don’t have to be extravagant…do what you do, but together!
- Be a good steward, share what you have learned, have extra, or have the ability to help others with…sharing is powerful
- Share the responsibility for changing the community you live in, seek to use your gifts
- Pass along good ideas, it’s a simple as a click these days, but support the positive, well done things that work!